Thursday, June 10, 2010

Chicago Blackhawks win Stanley Cup (no... really)

-The last time Chicago won the Stanley Cup, sock-hop was popular, Kennedy was president, and Wayne Gretzky didn't even know how to crawl. It was a long, long time ago. But, championship droughts, like the hopes of Michael Leighton signing a big contract, must come to an end. It really is a pity that it came against the very likeable Philadelphia Flyers and their classy fans.

-The NHL moved the trophy presentation from the traditional centre ice spot to the zamboni entrance, presumably because Philly fans are prone to violence. Never mind that they appeared to do that last year in Detroit when Pittsburgh won.

-Jonathan Toews became the fourth (fifth, or sixth, depending on how you order them) player to win the Stanley Cup and Olympic gold medal in the same year, but also was named the top forward at the Olympics as well as winning the Conn Smythe Trophy for playoff MVP (finals apparently not included in the voting for some reason) which is truly amazing. At just 22 years old, the man has all that, plus a World Junior gold medal to his name as well as a World Championship. I was born just a couple of months after the guy, and here I am eating cheetos in some god forsaken basement blogging. That son of a bitch.

-Patrick Kane's goal... was it the most anti-climatic moment in sports history? Only Kane, Patrick Sharp and Darryl Powe seem to notice that the puck went in. The referee, goal judge, and even Jim Hughson were flummoxed as to what had happened, and as the Blackhawks poured onto the ice in utter confusion, only then was the puck fished out of the net. Not fished out of the net? Michael Leighton's signing bonus.

-Transcript of the goal call:

Jim Hughson: "Campbell, holds the puck in at the line, turns, won't shoot. Kane, watched by Kimmo Timonen, to the net... ... ... Leighton stopped it! It came loose on the other side of the net!"

Craig Simpson: "It's in."

Jim: "It's over! Patrick Kane has scored the goal! The Chicago Blackhawks long drought is over!"

-Although that beats the hell out of the Bob Cole/Harry Neale version of the call, which I imagine would have gone as follows.

Bob Cole: "Philadelphia, in the orange, still can't seem to get the puck out of the zone and the white team keeps it in..."

Harry Neale: "They're applying a lot of pressure here Bob!"

Bob: "Look at the moves by the young Chicago forward, Patrick Kane that is! He takes the puck in front and he shoots and he went wide with it. Chicago retreats, and... oh my... it looks like Chicago will get a penalty here, the play is called."

Harry: "That could be a too-many-men-on-the-ice penalty, Bob. They're all out there. It's been an epidemic this postseason, and now Philadelphia is going to have a powerplay chance to end the game and send this series back to Toronto for Game 7."

-Ron MacLean opened the night by awkwardly standing in front of the Flyers loosening up playing soccer and reading poetry. It wasn't quite Don Cherry at the organ bad, but I'm wondering what the hell CBC could have done for an intro if a 7th game was forced. Thankfully, we are done with these until next June. I never imagined I would possibly long for the days of Scott Oake's pre-recorded interviews with assistant coaches before games.

-In other dumb studio host news, here is a video of Jeremy Roenick crying on NBC.

-With four different 24-hour sports channels in this country, we tend to overanalyze everything. Tune into TSN or Sportsnet tomorrow to see what Nick Kypreos or Darren Dreger or some other brainstem says what the turning point in the series was. The turning point in the series, actually, came three years ago, when a ping pong ball fell into the right place to give Chicago the first overall pick. They took Kane. The Flyers picked second, and ended up with James Van Riemsdyk, who was only in the lineup this series because he isn't a huge idiot like Daniel Carcillo.

-Baseball happened. Toronto lost. Morneau got a hit. Bay's game was postponed.

-The CFL is joining the 21st century which will give quarterbacks headsets and allow them to communicate with their coach between plays. The headsets delivered to Blue Bombers camp allow members of the team to communicate with the defense lawyers between aggravated assaults.


Hockey is done. We're sad. But don't let it bring you down.

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