Drive-by analysis: Those TSN playoff ads

You may have noticed these commercials that run on TSN as part of their lead-up to the network's playoff coverage. The ads feature short clips of the team followed by a short commentary by a TSN personality and the tagline: "Every team has a story".

Here are a few excerpts::

"If Price is focused and sharp, Habs are the dark horse." - Steve Kouleas

Bob McCown is a horny old man

Not wanting to have anything to do with hockey for a while because we don't want to lose our Air Canada sponsorship, why don't we have fun with the FAN 950's Bob McCown? The inside sunglasses-wearing radio host isn't just an avid sports nut with the ability to take the contrarian position, it appears he is also a fan of the finer bits of women's sport:

"The sole motivation for any man to watch women’s sport is: are they half naked? Are they good looking? Other than that, it don’t matter."

Matt Carkner's bar fight, and musings of a former journalism hopeful on sports blogs

Over at Pension Plan Puppets Saturday night, Julian [Redacted] promoted a FanPost, which is user comment in Sports Blog Nation speak, that told the funny story of Ottawa defenseman Matt Carkner. The story goes that part-time goon and part-time competent defenseman Carkner went to Moxie's after his Senators lost to the Leafs 5-1 and got in a bar fight.

There are no pictures of the incident, no video, no statement from the owner of the bar confirming that a fight broke out that involved a local celebrity, so the story is, in all possibility, total bullshit. That doesn't make it a bad thing. This is the epitome of the Internet and its possibilities. Friend of the Factor Ryan Classic pointed out with the first comment on the PPP story that the user tweeted "Matt Carkner likes to look at boys dicks..." just prior to announcing to the world that Carkner also picks petty battles with petty fans in bars.

Scott Russell wants you to shoot pucks at your dryer, too

I like Sidney Crosby. He's not a bad hockey player, and he provided my generation with its Henderson moment. That said, I dislike some of the attention and coverage he attracts. I can understand that the NHL markets this guy really hard, and why not, but when you have people sloppily talking about their obsession with Crosby beyond the hockey sphere, we have a problem. This is over-saturation.

Sidney, meet Scott Russell.

Few greater treasures exist for a hockey-loving nation than a player who has come to symbolize the sport most of us obsess over.

This is his opening line, and you already know where the article is headed.

Maybe they should have brought in some star power

An actual caption for an action photo for an actual National newspaper.

My follow-up with Bill Daly on the Colin Campbell e-mails

Or, how to get involved in the 'access' debate

A lot has happened this week. Tyler Dellow kicked it off Sunday night with his post about the public Colin Campbell e-mails and connected the dots. There were three major points to take away from this:

A) Colin Campbell has a foul mouth.

B) Colin Campbell gets pissed off when calls go against his son.

C) Colin Campbell has harsh words for players who complain about calls.

Colin Campbell's time-bomb explodes

Here, friends, is the importance of the follow-up question.

When NHL Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly came out today to talk about Tyler Dellow's now legendary take-down of NHL Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell, he said the following:

"Any suggestion that Colin Campbell performs his job with any less than 100% integrity at all times and in every decision he makes is way off base and just factually wrong. Because of the potential for a conflict of interest, or more importantly a perceived conflict of interest, the League has implemented various structural protections that prohibit Colie from having any oversight or disciplinary authority relating to any game in which his son, Gregory, plays. Its always fair to question and criticize League decisions as being wrong, but not on the basis that they aren't justly and fairly arrived at."

The hockey media is up in arms over the Wisniewski gesture

thus they continue to direct attention to the Wisniewski gesture



It's not a throat slash. It's not anything violent. It didn't put anybody in physical harm. It didn't involve anybody except for James Wisniewski and Sean Avery, and shouldn't really offend anybody.

Sunday's hockey games offered a lot for the hockey media to pontificate on. New Jersey dressed 15 players due to salary cap contraints (there's a legal issue here), there was a big brawl in the St. Louis/Anaheim game that was out of reach (there's an unnecessary violence issue here), there have been nine head injuries so far this season (there's a player safety issue here).

So James Wisniewski told Sean Avery to blow him. I'm sure that nobody has ever done that. I'm sure no fan has ever done that. I'm sure that Sean Avery has a squeaky-clean track record and sensitive personality that would make him feel totally uncomfortable by a gesture like that.

Or completely the opposite. Preach, brothers.

Larry Brooks compares what Wisniewski did to what Sean Avery said about Elisha Cuthbert a few years back that led to a six-game Avery suspension.

Avery:

"But I'm sure nothing is going to happen to him because nothing ever happens.

"It's interesting you get a warning [from the officials] for something like that. Imagine if I did that. I'd be sent to rehab."

I thought what happened on the ice stayed on the ice, or something. (Somebody needs to re-write the unwritten code) Sean Avery displayed his inability to let go of Elisha Cuthbert to the media the way a crying failed contestant on American Idol yells to the judges that "ya'll haven't heard the last of me! Ya'll missed your chance!" James Wiesniewski didn't. He told Sean Avery to blow him. The only way this is a controversy is if Graham James is involved.

Damien Cox decided to compare the Wisniewski action to the Niklas Hjalmarsson hit, also from yesterday, which sent Pominville off the ice in a stretcher.



Ugly hit, yes. Suspension-worthy, yes. Malicious, no. Hjalmarsson is a guy who had 20 PIMs last year, all minors. Like Pominville, he got caught out of position and had a momentary lapse of judgment. This is the type of hit that puts somebody into the 'repeat offender' category and nothing more.

Does the NHL value class or safety more? Does is despise vulgarity more, or actions which put other players in unnecessary physical danger?

Class or safety? The only player who isn't safe when Hjalmarsson is on the ice is Marty Turco (Hjalmarsson is a -4 already this year)

After 20 years of seeing various nefarious misdeeds on the rink, I can't tell you with any honesty what will transpire in either case.

Nefarious misdeed? Is that a synonym for "isolated incident" which is what both of these cases are?

If Damien Cox is so concerned about class and protecting the children, maybe him and the rest of the hockey media who are so concerned should stop talking about it. TSN ran the video in their highlight package, except they blurred the gesture. Again, if TSN is concerned about the children, then don't show it.

It reminds of when Paul McCartney was asked by an interviewer whether he did drugs. McCartney said yes. The interviewer asked whether he was going to be seen as a bad influence, to which McCartney replied "I'm not the one publishing it."

Will one action deserve only a slap on the wrist, or both? Will Colin Campbell decide enough is enough and hammer both Wisnewski and Hjalmarsson?

Only Campbell knows, and as he awakes this morning, he probably doesn't know, either.

Well that makes a whole lot of sense. Thanks for clarifying it for me.

For what it's worth, Hjalmarsson deserves two or three games and a target on his back for the next time he does something like this, which may be never. Wisniewski deserves nothing until he starts slandering ex-girlfriends in the press or acting like a pest for being a pest on the ice reccurently and actually becomes a threat to the 'class' of the game.

On Pat Burns and the breaking of news stories in the online age

As we all know, Pat Burns died, and then didn't die last Friday in a classic instance of the media, both traditional and social, jumping the shark based on the word of former Toronto Maple Leafs stiff Cliff Fletcher.

Just before 11:30 AM Friday morning, two messages popped up Twitter exaggerating the condition of cancer-ridden former NHL coach Pat Burns. One was from @ctvottawa, the other from @FAN590. It was sad and depressing, for the 58-year old man who the Internet had once tried to get into the Hockey Hall of Fame at some point during his life, to see go too soon.

Windsor Star predicts Toronto/Detroit in 2137 Stanley Cup Final

In today's Windsor Star, print media continued its slow demise announcing a Detroit/Toronto Stanley Cup Finals game in 2137, before repeating a news brief eight or nine times.

The joke here is that CBC won't exist the next time the Leafs make the finals, right?

The Expected Result: Damien Cox totally wrong on Kovalchuk ruling

Toronto Star writer and guilty conscience of every Canadian hockey fan came back from his vacation today, just in time to pen a blog post on how an independant arbitrator would uphold Ilya Kovalchuk's 17-year, $102-million contract.

"Most don't expect that [arbitrator Richard Bloch to uphold the NHL's decision] to happen," Cox writes, "and instead it's likely Ilya Kovalchuk will officially become a New Jersey Devil, with his controversial 17-year, $102 million deal approved."

I fail to comprehend who "most" is referring to. If Cox has an extensive list of labour lawyers and union experts to quote and draw his conclusions from, well, all the best to him. The thing is that he doesn't, and his source list is likely made up of ex-players and former agents--former agents for a reason--who have read the NHL Collective Bargaining Agreement as extensively as we have, and have no more insight into the matter as that braindead co-worker.

Using an all-encompassing term like "most" without quoting sufficient sources is what seperates real journalists from schmos who, already having made a career, just mail in every column and offer no differing opinion than the majority of 7pm-10pm sports fans.

That being said, in the unlikely event that Bloch does not overturn the NHL's decision, we're told by Cox, in the same column, that "it's believed the Los Angeles Kings would be first in line to try and sign him," even though Dean Lomardi, General Manager of the Kings says that his team "weren't in the the ballpark" with the deal that the Devils initially signed Kovalchuk to.

Toss in a couple of Tomas Kaberle rumours, also with no substantial evidence to back up his claims, as click-bait, and you have your typical Damien Cox column, including a close-to-but-not-exceeding-400 word count.

So, an hour or so after Bloch decided to prove Damien Cox wrong, Cox came out with an apologetic response piece, explaining the ramifications of this whole thing. Reading is not reccomended.

Bob McKenzie is hi-lar-ious when (drunk?) on vacation.

It's hard to criticize Bob McKenzie. Him and Darren Dreger make the best investigative journalism team in hockey. McKenzie, sometimes to his credit, sometimes not, is a more active user of the Internet. This is not one of those times.

McKenzie left the Rogers Centre for a Bon Jovi/Kid Rock double bill with some thoughts about the Ilya Kovalchuk saga, and a belly (we can only assume) full of beer:



[@TSNBobMcKenzie]

Actually, this doesn't really fall under 'criticism' so much as it does under 'awesome'. McKenzie is more of a reporter and a story-breaker than a writer, making it even more upsetting when he comes up with better lines than I do.

Shameless wireless company understands synergy

How does this work for you?

General Motors' deal for the naming rights of Canada Hockey Place expired yesterday, meaning that some new sponsor would have to step up to the plate.

That would be Rogers Communications.

Enter the world of corporate buzz in press releases. Here are some of my favourites:

Rogers will work with the Canucks to explore new and innovative ways to use wireless technology to engage fans anytime, anyplace.

Ah. New and innovative. I hope that they put together an extensive strategy to implement these ideas.

“This is an important strategic alliance and we’re thrilled to partner with an outstanding organization like the Canucks,” said Nadir Mohamed, President and CEO, Rogers Communications. “B.C. is a critical market for Rogers and this announcement further enhances our investment in the province and builds on our powerful sports legacy."

Not only is this an 'important strategic alliance' but this is coming from a a guy who has no lss than four capital letters in his job title.

I also like the buzzspeak phrase "powerful sports legacy."

The legacy of Rogers in Canadian sports:

-Constantly refer to Nick Kypreos and Doug MacLean as leading experts.
-By keeping Don Taylor around, they have the goofiest late-night highlight programming on the major sports networks. And this is a competition that includes Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole.
-Made the switch to 'Connected' to reach an edgier segment of the population. Only changes made were that the highlight show somehow got shittier and you don't wear ties anymore.
-Changed the name of Canada's biggest sports landmark.
-Constantly interrupt our otherwise mundane sports programming with commercials featuring attractive young people who are sexually attracted to video phones and unlimited texting plans.

And also...

Rogers has a long history in sports. The company operates the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team as well as the Rogers Centre and Rogers Sportsnet.

Yeah, probably should have left that out of the press release.

Sportsnet News, not surprisingly, had the corporate bosses shell out a 2-minute segment on the "news" with some dumb montage of white-collar guys who have nothing to do with the Canucks put on jerseys.

Memo to Sportsnet: re-named arenas is not news. Fans falling out of the bleachers and parodies of Styx songs. Get it together.

Damien Cox offers interesting perspective at Wimbledon

Probably [one of] the worst thought out headline ever [this week]:

Serena stands out in Wimbledon

I think the article itself is about how Serena Williams is the only favourite left in the field, but the obvious just creeps into the back of our minds so hard it makes us chuckle.

Meet your 2010 Wimbledone women's singles semifinalists:









So, uh... which of these is not like the other?

Tim Baines, wrestling columnist, is NOT anti-Spezza

I suppose that few people outside of Ottawa subscribe to the Ottawa Sun, and thus, few people really know whether the Sun is pro-Senators, anti-Senators or whichever. But it appears that they've become pro-sensationalism, with a ridiculous defense of the paper's sports section.

Earlier this week, the Silver Seven blog fired against the paper for its Jason Spezza coverage. and a couple of days later, back on Friday, Sun sports editor (and wrestling columnist, if you check out his bio on the right-hand side of the page) Tim Baines did his best to defend his turf. The result is not pretty:

So, it appears pretty overwhelming here. We are the bad guys for writing that Jason Spezza told Bryan Murray that he wouldn’t “object” to a trade. We are the bad guys for writing that he had a $4-million bonus coming July 1. We are the bad guys for suggesting that the Senators trade him.

That's a fair point, but you're getting way defensive way too early in your column.

We are the bad guys because an overwhelming number of people in this city, when polled, suggested that the Senators should trade their star centre.

An overwhelming number, which doesn't represent the majority at all.

And, many have said, Don Brennan is an idiot because he suggested the Senators should trade Spezza if they can get fair value. Brennan actually disputed what he considers an unfair label about Spezza’s defensive liabilities.

Personally, I don’t think they should trade Spezza. He’s a marquee player on a team that has too few of them. But, and call his sensationalism on my part if you want, be assured the the Senators GM is, yes IS, trying to trade him.

In these two paragraphs, the editor is sticking up for his columnist who suggested Spezza should be traded, and that Spezza is not a defensive liability. Then he goes on to suggest that Spezza should not be traded and that his paper is sensationalist for bringing it up.

Agreed.

The Ottawa Sun’s reporters are being blamed for breaking Spezza stories. Does it not seem curious to anyone why Bryan Murray would mention his conversation with Spezza in the first place. Do you think that ruffles the feathers of the team’s best player?

This is where Baines falls apart. When is he going to explicitly defend one of the Spezza stories, one of the broken stories that determined an irrefutable truth? This would be different had Jason Spezza been traded, which it doesn't look like is going to happen.

One blogger suggests the Senators should rid themselves of the real problem, Daniel Alfredsson. Geez, you rip on us for creating a problem with Spezza, then you try and trade the Senators’ captain, a guy who’s poured his heart and soul into the franchise?

And the Dany Heatley criticism persists? The guy freakin’ wanted out of town. He asked for a trade. Didn’t want to be in Ottawa. Was that the media’s fault. He made a lot of money here. We had no gripe with him until he gave Ottawa the middle finger and said he wanted out. Was that our fault?

I find it funny that, on one hand, we are criticized for being too home-teamish. And on the other, we’re over-the-top anti-Senators.

Baines switches from being ridiculously defensive to outright whining. This brings us to the end of the column, where he needs to take a parting shot at blogs.

We make decisions every day on which stories will be played up. Which stories merit space in the paper. You think the guys are making stories up. Unlike some local hacks who live in their mothers’ basements and throw enough crap out there until some of it sticks, our guys have sources — GMs, scouts, management-types.

How original. At no point, though, does Baines mention that anybody at the Silver Seven blog eat doritos.

Sure, we run rumours in our paper. It would be safe to say that somewhere upwards of 99% of trades that are discussed in NHL circles never happen. So does that make it wrong that we report some of the deals that are at the discussion level? And are we wrong for reporting that Peter Regin’s agent suggested that his player could earn a Tomas Vanek-like contract? The notion he’ll get that kind of money is ludicrous. But the fact his agent said it is newsworthy.

You're probably wrong for not calling the guy out on it at all, whether it's in print or via interview. One major difference between print and blogs is that the print guys supposedly have access to major sources.

Baines is the sports editor for a major big-city newspaper, yet his defensive column has no more exclusive quotes or access points, and so his piece could have been crafted by somebody in my position, who has his own blogspot and gets a dozen readers on a good day.

I'll give him the last word, though. Enjoy the rest of your Monday:

It’s great that fans are so passionate about the Senators. They just have to be open-minded enough to hear the good and the bad.

The selective memory of James Sharman

James Sharman, The Score's number one soccer analyst, is an English transfer to Canada, if you will, and was twittering his thoughts during today's England/Germany game.

Particularly, when Frank Lampard's shot hit the roof of the crossbar, fell down clearly a yard beyond the line, which would have tied the game at 2.

Completely opposite to what happened to Geoff Hurst in the 1966 final against the Germans:



So, Sharman got a little angry, understandable:

To all the moronics suggesting revenge for '66; Eng won that gm 4-2 for the record.

So the insurance goal added in the end made all the difference to how we should perceive the game. Which is a fair argument. Except when you come out with this one after your team loses 4-1:

Gutted. Eng not good enough, but make no mistake, that non-call changed everything! Should not be dismissed due to scoreline. #worldcup

Oh well. Sucks to be English today. This 2010 World Cup for our cousins across the pond is pretty well exactly how we did in Olympic hockey in 2006. Dissapointing start, bow out early to your rivals in the knockout stage.

Darren Dreger is just no fun

It figures that when Ottawa Citizen writer Ken Warren puts together some exhaustively researched arguments about where Jason Spezza could eventually end up, that noted brat Eklund will set loose some vague conclusions on his legions of fans.

Two things about his post that I love.

#1 - 'Source' is capitalized.

#2 - "a well-placed source" denies an alleged 'Spezza to Columbus' trade as being off just minutes after Darren Dreger, citing Ottawa GM Bryan Murray denied the rumour on Twitter.

You may not be familiar with Twitter, but the first list that Eklund follows is what he calls 'the-big-3-nhl-twitterers', of which Darren Dreger is a part.

It's hard enough to be a hockey blogger out there without Dreger showing up every ten minutes and shitting on your parade, although it is worrying seeing so many BS Eklund rumours show up on the desks of mainstream media folks. Dreger tonight, and Sportsnet last week.

Keep in mind that when Nashville traded for Dan Hamhuis on Friday, that there was absolutely no lead-up to the event. It's almost as if a well-organized professional hockey front office doesn't release sensitive information that might harm the potential value of its assets, and that rumours do not come from NHL teams, but rather educated guesses coming from the team's beat-writers.

The Phantom of the United Center

Don Cherry brings weirdness to new heights



Seeing Michael Leighton battle Antti Niemi in the Stanley Cup Finals and not weirded out enough? What about Ben Eager scoring game winning goals? Still not weirded out? Okay, how about Ron MacLean headed under the bleachers at the United Center to see Don Cherry playing the organ while dressed as the Phantom of the Opera?

To be quite honest, I have never seen a single adaptation of the original play, so maybe I didn't get the joke. The brief wikipedia summary didn't mention how any of the scenes in the play could possibly tie into Philadelphia's lack of discipline with Dan Carcillo on the ice or the lack of production from Chicago's big line.

The other thing I had noticed is how good Cherry's organ rendition of Stranglehold by Ted Nugent. In fact, it's like there wasn't even an organ in the song as the Blackhawks were skating out onto the ice. The man is a man of many talents.

It was terrific foreshadowing by CBC. Ben Eager, who scored Game 2's winning goal, played for the Philadelphia Phantoms during the lockout.