Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Shameless wireless company understands synergy

How does this work for you?

General Motors' deal for the naming rights of Canada Hockey Place expired yesterday, meaning that some new sponsor would have to step up to the plate.

That would be Rogers Communications.

Enter the world of corporate buzz in press releases. Here are some of my favourites:

Rogers will work with the Canucks to explore new and innovative ways to use wireless technology to engage fans anytime, anyplace.

Ah. New and innovative. I hope that they put together an extensive strategy to implement these ideas.

“This is an important strategic alliance and we’re thrilled to partner with an outstanding organization like the Canucks,” said Nadir Mohamed, President and CEO, Rogers Communications. “B.C. is a critical market for Rogers and this announcement further enhances our investment in the province and builds on our powerful sports legacy."

Not only is this an 'important strategic alliance' but this is coming from a a guy who has no lss than four capital letters in his job title.

I also like the buzzspeak phrase "powerful sports legacy."

The legacy of Rogers in Canadian sports:

-Constantly refer to Nick Kypreos and Doug MacLean as leading experts.
-By keeping Don Taylor around, they have the goofiest late-night highlight programming on the major sports networks. And this is a competition that includes Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole.
-Made the switch to 'Connected' to reach an edgier segment of the population. Only changes made were that the highlight show somehow got shittier and you don't wear ties anymore.
-Changed the name of Canada's biggest sports landmark.
-Constantly interrupt our otherwise mundane sports programming with commercials featuring attractive young people who are sexually attracted to video phones and unlimited texting plans.

And also...

Rogers has a long history in sports. The company operates the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team as well as the Rogers Centre and Rogers Sportsnet.

Yeah, probably should have left that out of the press release.

Sportsnet News, not surprisingly, had the corporate bosses shell out a 2-minute segment on the "news" with some dumb montage of white-collar guys who have nothing to do with the Canucks put on jerseys.

Memo to Sportsnet: re-named arenas is not news. Fans falling out of the bleachers and parodies of Styx songs. Get it together.

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