The Toronto Sun's Steve Simmons, fervent defender of lazy sportswriters, and yet another clown who does not understand the salary cap, has taken some heat recently.
Quite understandably, Simmons became front-and-centre online thanks to his legally correct yet ethically bankrupt defense of colleague Dave Fuller during the Pensio Plan Puppets saga.
Simmons has now come out comparing Cristobal Huet signing in Switzerland on loan from Chicago to Ilya Kovalchuk making $3.5 million more than his cap hit.
"Transferring Huet to the Swiss League is a circumvention of the salary cap," Simmons writes, and quite surprisingly, he credits CBC's Jeff Marek for the idea. Huet has one of the more egregious problem contracts in the NHL at $5.625 million.
Funnily enough, Jeff Marek never explicitly said that the Huet deal was circumvention. Marek said that some could see it as against the spirit of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. While I think that Marek is wrong, I think it's fair to point out that Jeff Marek is not as stupid as Steve Simmons.
For one, Simmons makes me imagine that he thinks every time a problem contract is moved, it's cap circumvention. Loaning a player to Europe is a creative way of getting rid of a problem contract.
The word 'circumvention' in this case is just mind-numbingly stupid because circumvention implies that you're getting around an obstacle, in this instance, the salary cap.
But if the Chicago Blackhawks aren't paying Cristobal Huet and he isn't playing for them, you're not getting around the salary cap obstacle. There is no obstacle. Capiche, Simmons?
Later in the evening, Simmons wondered via text message whether he Blue Jays lead the American League in baserunners thrown out at home or not. Naturally, the official account for the Pension Plan Puppets called him out on it:
"Maybe," they wrote, "as a sports journalist, you could find out for us. Would be interesting to know."
This incited Simmons to reply to the message in a manner that makes us unsure whether Steve Simmons' "Official Twitter account" is just a well-done parody.
Here's a tip to the media: you may yet be used to having your thoughts never escape the comfortable regions of your own subscriber base. While I encourage every writer, blogger, musician or anybody looking for exposure to use the social media service, keep in mind that Twitter is a place where your intellectual property, or lack thereof, is stored online. Don't try to be too 'edgy' if all you are is a lazy sportswriter, who's publication is beaten on scoops by three days.