Because we haven't done headlines in a while, why not?
Chris Pronger left the game in Philadelphia's 5-3 over Montreal last night. It is being called a 'lower-body injury' for now, because Pronger ran off with the medical reports.
Showing posts with label hoserism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hoserism. Show all posts
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Joey Votto wins NL MVP with 31 of 32 first-place votes
The Etobicoke, ON native was given all but one first-place vote on the ballot as the Most Valuable Player for the National League Monday afternoon. Albert Pujols from the rival St. Louis Cardinals, once seen as the dominant first baseman in Major League Baseball for years upon years to come, finished 31 votes short.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sidney Crosby hits a homerun at PNC Park and other wacky news
-In what is the easiest joke to make in the history of lazy sports blogging, Sidney Crosby hit a homerun in batting practice at PNC Park in Pittsburgh and will be slotted into the three hole for the 47-91 Pirates' game tonight against the Atlanta Braves.
-Who has two thumbs and is from a country whose national men's soccer team won an International Friendly? This guy! Canada defeated Honduras 2-1 last night at Saputo Stadium in Montreal last night.
-So a Waterloo football player pisses into a cup... and becomes the first ever North American athlete to test positive for HGH. Friend of the 'Eh' Factor and newest Yahoo! Sports blogger Andrew Bucholtz writes on the implications this has for Waterloo, the CIS, the CFL, and sports in general. I had a joke on this, but I used it up earlier in the day.
-If the rumour of Jamie Langenbrunner being traded for Tomas Kaberle sounds ridiculous to you, it probably is. This was an Eklund rumour (which is capitalized) that has gained steam today because, well, it involves the Toronto Maple Leafs, and it involves draft picks. Forwarded to me by a friend, the rumour is "The trade would involve Tomas Kaberle and a 4th rounder ending up in NJ, With Rolston, Langenbrunner, a first in 2011, and a second in 2012." [sic]
In other related news, the negotiations between myself and the student union building for the last roasted chicken sandwich hit an impasse when I realized it cost $5.
-Oh yeah. Buck Pierce fell hard and dislocated his elbow against the Riders and his season may be in jeopardy. It may work out for him, since "not playing for the Blue Bombers during the 2010 season" looks way better on the resume than "Blue Bombers starting quarterback- 2010". Also on TSN are reports that former Olympic bobsledder Jesse Lumsden may return to football. Which is appropriate, because nothing emphasizes the Bombers' season like... ah, you know.
-Here's a rumour that might have legs, about Eric Tillman possibly locking up the Edmonton Eskimo General Manager position. Tillman likely won't make a decision until he's found a suitable babysitter in Edmonton. Also on Rod Pedersen's blog can be found excerpts from a Stevie Bagg radio interview earlier today, where it seems like he won't be coming up to Canada this year.
-Who has two thumbs and is from a country whose national men's soccer team won an International Friendly? This guy! Canada defeated Honduras 2-1 last night at Saputo Stadium in Montreal last night.
-So a Waterloo football player pisses into a cup... and becomes the first ever North American athlete to test positive for HGH. Friend of the 'Eh' Factor and newest Yahoo! Sports blogger Andrew Bucholtz writes on the implications this has for Waterloo, the CIS, the CFL, and sports in general. I had a joke on this, but I used it up earlier in the day.
-If the rumour of Jamie Langenbrunner being traded for Tomas Kaberle sounds ridiculous to you, it probably is. This was an Eklund rumour (which is capitalized) that has gained steam today because, well, it involves the Toronto Maple Leafs, and it involves draft picks. Forwarded to me by a friend, the rumour is "The trade would involve Tomas Kaberle and a 4th rounder ending up in NJ, With Rolston, Langenbrunner, a first in 2011, and a second in 2012." [sic]
In other related news, the negotiations between myself and the student union building for the last roasted chicken sandwich hit an impasse when I realized it cost $5.
-Oh yeah. Buck Pierce fell hard and dislocated his elbow against the Riders and his season may be in jeopardy. It may work out for him, since "not playing for the Blue Bombers during the 2010 season" looks way better on the resume than "Blue Bombers starting quarterback- 2010". Also on TSN are reports that former Olympic bobsledder Jesse Lumsden may return to football. Which is appropriate, because nothing emphasizes the Bombers' season like... ah, you know.
-Here's a rumour that might have legs, about Eric Tillman possibly locking up the Edmonton Eskimo General Manager position. Tillman likely won't make a decision until he's found a suitable babysitter in Edmonton. Also on Rod Pedersen's blog can be found excerpts from a Stevie Bagg radio interview earlier today, where it seems like he won't be coming up to Canada this year.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
TSN2 to show gold medal hockey game tonight
Yes, TSN2 has been showing repeats of Winter Olympic events, and finally we get to the gold medal hockey game. It will come on your television box at 8 EST/5 PST, so set your PVRs accordingly. This one will never be wiped from the hard-drive.
A replay of the game is great. It allows us to watch and enjoy without the nervous finger-biting or plans to throw ourselves off the Lions Gate Bridge if they managed to choke away that 2-goal lead, although we are still allowed to remember the highs.
When the game finished, I reconvened with some of my friends, before heading off to my parent's place so I could write my column on the event for the school paper, which recapped the last week of the Olympics, before heading out to celebrate more downtown.
Here's the column on the goal and the ensuing celebration, or, as I like to call it, a monument to terrible, cheesy sportswriting:
[Click to enlarge]
These images are courtesy of Thompson Rivers University's student paper 'The Omega', who were merciful enough to have that the column itself taken off of their website.
A friend showed me this video yesterday. It really is a shame how announcers from the UK, France and South Korea, not exactly hockey hotbeds, seem far more into the moment than Chris Cuthbert.
Again, set the PVRs accordingly.
A replay of the game is great. It allows us to watch and enjoy without the nervous finger-biting or plans to throw ourselves off the Lions Gate Bridge if they managed to choke away that 2-goal lead, although we are still allowed to remember the highs.
When the game finished, I reconvened with some of my friends, before heading off to my parent's place so I could write my column on the event for the school paper, which recapped the last week of the Olympics, before heading out to celebrate more downtown.
Here's the column on the goal and the ensuing celebration, or, as I like to call it, a monument to terrible, cheesy sportswriting:
[Click to enlarge]
These images are courtesy of Thompson Rivers University's student paper 'The Omega', who were merciful enough to have that the column itself taken off of their website.
A friend showed me this video yesterday. It really is a shame how announcers from the UK, France and South Korea, not exactly hockey hotbeds, seem far more into the moment than Chris Cuthbert.
Again, set the PVRs accordingly.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Hoser headlines, the Sunday morning update
The most important thing we can do on a Sunday, before we blast you with irrelevant news on Canadian sports figures throughout the week, is show you a picture of Jon Ryan, a punter for the Seattle Seahawks from Regina, Saskatchewan:
He's a great punter.
Here is Tyler Dellow of mc79hockey offering up how the NHL will ruin Internaional hockey, by elimination Olympic competition. Dellow is responding to a stupid Bleacher Report post from a Leafs fan who will back every move.
Simeon Jackson scored his first goal in the Coca-Cola Championship. That's English soccer for you North Americans.
Canada's representatives at the Little League World Series, from Little Mountain in Vancouver, won their opening game 4-2 against Panama. Apparently tacky pants were involved, but I don't have a picture.
Saint John's Matt Stairs hit for a record 21st pinch hit home run on Saturday. As the great Jonah Keri pointed out, CANADIANZ IN UR BASEBALZ, EATING UR RECURDZ
Finally, Something's Bruin has the definitive recap on the Pension Plan Puppets/Toronto Sun snafu that's being going on. You can find it here.
Basically, a newspaper from a major chain stole something from a blog. From where I stand, that decreases the value of my own journalism degree. I should sue. A newspaper writer is different from a blogger because he or she has already established a level of trust, and when a newspaper man does anything to lessen that level of trust, we are all affected.
But let's turn the subject. Don Cherry thinks that the Toronto Maple Leafs will make the playoffs, and the Phoenix Coyotes will return to Winnipeg within the year.
Finally, a good piece by the guys at Hoops Head North explaining the future of Canadian basketball and what we must do to get on top. After all, our own James Naismith invented the game. By the way, the FIBA World Championship will now be on TSN2.
That it? Stay patient for the updated Excitement Rankings later. I suggest sitting there and constantly refreshing the page.
He's a great punter.
Here is Tyler Dellow of mc79hockey offering up how the NHL will ruin Internaional hockey, by elimination Olympic competition. Dellow is responding to a stupid Bleacher Report post from a Leafs fan who will back every move.
Simeon Jackson scored his first goal in the Coca-Cola Championship. That's English soccer for you North Americans.
Canada's representatives at the Little League World Series, from Little Mountain in Vancouver, won their opening game 4-2 against Panama. Apparently tacky pants were involved, but I don't have a picture.
Saint John's Matt Stairs hit for a record 21st pinch hit home run on Saturday. As the great Jonah Keri pointed out, CANADIANZ IN UR BASEBALZ, EATING UR RECURDZ
Finally, Something's Bruin has the definitive recap on the Pension Plan Puppets/Toronto Sun snafu that's being going on. You can find it here.
Basically, a newspaper from a major chain stole something from a blog. From where I stand, that decreases the value of my own journalism degree. I should sue. A newspaper writer is different from a blogger because he or she has already established a level of trust, and when a newspaper man does anything to lessen that level of trust, we are all affected.
But let's turn the subject. Don Cherry thinks that the Toronto Maple Leafs will make the playoffs, and the Phoenix Coyotes will return to Winnipeg within the year.
Finally, a good piece by the guys at Hoops Head North explaining the future of Canadian basketball and what we must do to get on top. After all, our own James Naismith invented the game. By the way, the FIBA World Championship will now be on TSN2.
That it? Stay patient for the updated Excitement Rankings later. I suggest sitting there and constantly refreshing the page.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Saturday morning hoser update
I'm going to start running this feature on Saturday mornings. It will grow to include things to watch in the upcoming week in Canadian sports.
-First off, Mike Weir finished tied for 146th at the Canadian Open, in a 156 player field. If only the 'mendoza line' could be applied to golf. We're blaming tendonitis this time.
But St. George's Club in Hamilton isn't all that bad for Canucks. Abbotsford's Adam Hadwin is 4 off the pace after shooting 68-66. This is the first PGA Tour event for the 22-year old golfer who has made $5,387 in his life as a pro, which is even less when you consider all those earnings were frontloaded to reduce the Canadian Tour's cap hit.
-When he's not crashing into fences or tripping over bases, Jason Bay is putting up spectacularly mediocre numbers this season, with a D-grade OPS, just six home runs and slugging numbers off the first page of the National League leaderboard.
-Joey Votto, though, is a ballplayer. He is still putting up better numbers than Albert Pujols but the Cardinals are a half-game up on the Reds.
-The Cardinals wouldn't be up a half on the Reds if North Vancouver's Blake Hawksworth didn't have a 2-game win streak going. He's 4-5 and has a respectable 4.85 ERA.
-As far as the Blue Jays are concerned, Jose Bautista is still impregnating women across America. He still leads the major leagues in the home runs. Not since Jesse Barfield hit 40 in 1986 has a Blue Jay led both leagues.
-At the Tour de France, Ryder Hesjedal is closing in on the first top 10 spot by a Canadian since Steve Bauer in 1988. You just know that Hesjedal would be doing better on home soil. When does this race come to Canada, anyway?
Tour de New France. Escape Eastern Canadian rioters.
-This week in the CFL, the Lions choked against the Argos and fell 24-20, giving me ample opportunity to recycle a clutch 'when life gives you lemons' joke for later in the year. You know what isn't clutch? Just about everything associated with the Lions.
Also, the Tiger-Cats got rung up by the Alouettes in their home opener. Montreal was up by 19 in the fourth quarter and went for two after a Kerry Watkins touchdown.
TSN seemed surprised when discussing Jeremaine Copeland's lack of production this year for the Argonauts, funny considering his receiving numbers were at their highest when he was thrown to by Anthony Calvillo and Henry Burris in their primes.
And just a heads-up, the Sunday night baseball game on TSN2 has Chris Carpenter starting against Gibson's Ryan Dempster. Toronto FC play today against Dallas. There is also a chance that a Canadian will break 80 at the Canadian Open. It's a good week ahead.
-First off, Mike Weir finished tied for 146th at the Canadian Open, in a 156 player field. If only the 'mendoza line' could be applied to golf. We're blaming tendonitis this time.
But St. George's Club in Hamilton isn't all that bad for Canucks. Abbotsford's Adam Hadwin is 4 off the pace after shooting 68-66. This is the first PGA Tour event for the 22-year old golfer who has made $5,387 in his life as a pro, which is even less when you consider all those earnings were frontloaded to reduce the Canadian Tour's cap hit.
-When he's not crashing into fences or tripping over bases, Jason Bay is putting up spectacularly mediocre numbers this season, with a D-grade OPS, just six home runs and slugging numbers off the first page of the National League leaderboard.
-Joey Votto, though, is a ballplayer. He is still putting up better numbers than Albert Pujols but the Cardinals are a half-game up on the Reds.
-The Cardinals wouldn't be up a half on the Reds if North Vancouver's Blake Hawksworth didn't have a 2-game win streak going. He's 4-5 and has a respectable 4.85 ERA.
-As far as the Blue Jays are concerned, Jose Bautista is still impregnating women across America. He still leads the major leagues in the home runs. Not since Jesse Barfield hit 40 in 1986 has a Blue Jay led both leagues.
-At the Tour de France, Ryder Hesjedal is closing in on the first top 10 spot by a Canadian since Steve Bauer in 1988. You just know that Hesjedal would be doing better on home soil. When does this race come to Canada, anyway?
Tour de New France. Escape Eastern Canadian rioters.
-This week in the CFL, the Lions choked against the Argos and fell 24-20, giving me ample opportunity to recycle a clutch 'when life gives you lemons' joke for later in the year. You know what isn't clutch? Just about everything associated with the Lions.
Also, the Tiger-Cats got rung up by the Alouettes in their home opener. Montreal was up by 19 in the fourth quarter and went for two after a Kerry Watkins touchdown.
TSN seemed surprised when discussing Jeremaine Copeland's lack of production this year for the Argonauts, funny considering his receiving numbers were at their highest when he was thrown to by Anthony Calvillo and Henry Burris in their primes.
And just a heads-up, the Sunday night baseball game on TSN2 has Chris Carpenter starting against Gibson's Ryan Dempster. Toronto FC play today against Dallas. There is also a chance that a Canadian will break 80 at the Canadian Open. It's a good week ahead.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Hoser update: The heat is ridiculous.
I miss my igloo. I miss riding my snowmobile to the beer store to pick up a two-four of Molson. I miss moose meat and its stringy goodness. The summer heat is absolutely unbearable, so much so that it would dry the tears off the face of everybody in Ohio this morning.
Today was the big day, when Joey Votto got a chance to stare down dinosaur Charlie Manuel for keeping him off the NL All-Star team. Not only did Votto win the 'Final Vote' to earn him a spot on the team (although his numbers, though better than Pujols' is, apparently aren't enough to give him a starting spot) but on his first at-bat he went yard to deep right. What with Votto leading the NL in home runs, and the Blue Jays' Jose Bautista leading the AL, if chicks dig the long ball, then Toronto would be Kim Kardashian right now.
Ryder Hesjedal is still 4th in the Tour de France. I'm starting to think that nobody really changes places in this. All I know is I was too much of a pussy to bike up a hill to work in the heat yesterday. These riders have more stones than Palestinians.
Finally, Bruce Arthur of the National Post explains how wrong the Lebron special was. I was going to do a post like this and how athletes string along fans and the media, and how Lebron is American, Kovalchuk is Russian and Mats Sundin is Swedish, but then I remembered Scott Niedermayer. I guess we weren't above all this after all.
We have football tomorrow, gang. Sure, it's the Argos, but I'm always looking for an excuse to drink to excess to tune out Glen Suitor.
Today was the big day, when Joey Votto got a chance to stare down dinosaur Charlie Manuel for keeping him off the NL All-Star team. Not only did Votto win the 'Final Vote' to earn him a spot on the team (although his numbers, though better than Pujols' is, apparently aren't enough to give him a starting spot) but on his first at-bat he went yard to deep right. What with Votto leading the NL in home runs, and the Blue Jays' Jose Bautista leading the AL, if chicks dig the long ball, then Toronto would be Kim Kardashian right now.
Ryder Hesjedal is still 4th in the Tour de France. I'm starting to think that nobody really changes places in this. All I know is I was too much of a pussy to bike up a hill to work in the heat yesterday. These riders have more stones than Palestinians.
Finally, Bruce Arthur of the National Post explains how wrong the Lebron special was. I was going to do a post like this and how athletes string along fans and the media, and how Lebron is American, Kovalchuk is Russian and Mats Sundin is Swedish, but then I remembered Scott Niedermayer. I guess we weren't above all this after all.
We have football tomorrow, gang. Sure, it's the Argos, but I'm always looking for an excuse to drink to excess to tune out Glen Suitor.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Your daily hoser update
-Somehow I think that Joey Votto has this 'Final Vote' All-Star thing locked up. Not only does Votto have the endorsement of former MVP Justin Morneau, but I'm pretty sure that Billy Wagner's campaign doesn't have a re-imagining of a Styx song going for it.
Votto went 0-for-2 tonight, but prior to yesterday's games he had the league lead in most important batting categories: Home runs, on-base percentage, slugging, and, by extension, OPS. Not only does this mean that Votto is turning into a player as good as Albert Pujols, but that the 'Eh' Factor now pretty much only recognizes statistics invented by Bill James. (Votto also lead Pujols in runs created. We needed to use our collective fingers and toes to figure that one out)
Then Ryan Zimmerman, also part of the 'Final Vote' decided to be a poor sport and hit a walkoff home run tonight. But, if Votto's 21 home runs didn't matter in determining who made the All-Star team, I doubt that one from Zimmerman will.
-We like some members of the St. Louis Cardinals. Like Blake Hawksworth, who started against Jeff Francis today. T..t..two!!! Two Canucks started on the mound tonight at Coors Field (In Canada, our Coors Field is stronger).
Unfortunately, the two combined for nine innings, 14 hits, seven earned runs and six strikeouts. Damn.
-Currently, Victoria's Ryder Hesjedal is in fourth place in the competition to ride your bike around former Nazi-occupied countries really fast. Fourth is pretty good. It seems like we're doing well without looking too pretentious.
-Why Not Winnipeg? asks Dave Naylor (played by Aaron Eckhart) in a joint effort between TSN and the Globe and Mail. Well, here's why, Jason Brough of the Kurtenblog says. I guess that solves that.
Votto went 0-for-2 tonight, but prior to yesterday's games he had the league lead in most important batting categories: Home runs, on-base percentage, slugging, and, by extension, OPS. Not only does this mean that Votto is turning into a player as good as Albert Pujols, but that the 'Eh' Factor now pretty much only recognizes statistics invented by Bill James. (Votto also lead Pujols in runs created. We needed to use our collective fingers and toes to figure that one out)
Then Ryan Zimmerman, also part of the 'Final Vote' decided to be a poor sport and hit a walkoff home run tonight. But, if Votto's 21 home runs didn't matter in determining who made the All-Star team, I doubt that one from Zimmerman will.
-We like some members of the St. Louis Cardinals. Like Blake Hawksworth, who started against Jeff Francis today. T..t..two!!! Two Canucks started on the mound tonight at Coors Field (In Canada, our Coors Field is stronger).
Unfortunately, the two combined for nine innings, 14 hits, seven earned runs and six strikeouts. Damn.
-Currently, Victoria's Ryder Hesjedal is in fourth place in the competition to ride your bike around former Nazi-occupied countries really fast. Fourth is pretty good. It seems like we're doing well without looking too pretentious.
-Why Not Winnipeg? asks Dave Naylor (played by Aaron Eckhart) in a joint effort between TSN and the Globe and Mail. Well, here's why, Jason Brough of the Kurtenblog says. I guess that solves that.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Joey Votto snubbed from all-star game, gets tossed
Only Albert Pujols had hit more home runs than Joey Votto prior to Sunday's games, yet Phillies manager Charlie Manuel felt it necessary to leave the CANADIAN off the National League All-Star roster.
Sure, All-Star games themselves are meaningless, but as a friend pointed out to me earlier, appearances matter so much when it comes time to negotiate salaries or possible Hall of Fame inductions (okay, that's a bit of a stretch for Votto) down the road.
Votto also leads the National League in OPS, is second in on-base percentage. Hell, his numbers are pretty damn comparable to the starter Pujols but nobody is really disputing that Votto should have been the starter. Why Adrian Gonzalez and Ryan Howard were seen as better first basemen than Votto is bad enough, but then Manuel added insult to injury by taking Omar Infante.
Luckily, he can still make the roster via a fan vote. He's up against Heath Bell, Carlos Gonzalez, Billy Wagner and Ryan Zimmerman.
So what did Votto do after hearing the news?
[Reds Win 14-3; Votto ejected]
The strike call itself was iffy, definitely low and probably a bit outside as well, although MLB gameday listed it as a strike.
All in all, Votto has seen better days, although Cincy still managed to beat the Cubs 14-3. Hell, maybe he just wanted to take the day off.
Only one Canadian was sent to Disneyland, that being Justin Morneau (duh). Three Jays are on the roster: John Buck, Jose Bautista and Vernon Wells.
Sure, All-Star games themselves are meaningless, but as a friend pointed out to me earlier, appearances matter so much when it comes time to negotiate salaries or possible Hall of Fame inductions (okay, that's a bit of a stretch for Votto) down the road.
Votto also leads the National League in OPS, is second in on-base percentage. Hell, his numbers are pretty damn comparable to the starter Pujols but nobody is really disputing that Votto should have been the starter. Why Adrian Gonzalez and Ryan Howard were seen as better first basemen than Votto is bad enough, but then Manuel added insult to injury by taking Omar Infante.
Luckily, he can still make the roster via a fan vote. He's up against Heath Bell, Carlos Gonzalez, Billy Wagner and Ryan Zimmerman.
So what did Votto do after hearing the news?
Joey Votto was ejected in the first inning today here at Wrigley, for arguing a called third strike.
Votto protested, slammed his helmet to the ground and was ejected by plate umpire Angel Campos. Manager Dusty Baker rushed out of the dugout and said a few words himself, but Baker was not tossed.
[Reds Win 14-3; Votto ejected]
The strike call itself was iffy, definitely low and probably a bit outside as well, although MLB gameday listed it as a strike.
All in all, Votto has seen better days, although Cincy still managed to beat the Cubs 14-3. Hell, maybe he just wanted to take the day off.
Only one Canadian was sent to Disneyland, that being Justin Morneau (duh). Three Jays are on the roster: John Buck, Jose Bautista and Vernon Wells.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Happy Canada Day!
What would a Canadian sports blog be without some dainty hoserism?
Canada Day is great. It's the opening day of NHL Free Agency, which means it's only about a week or so until Ilya Kovalchuk or Dan Hamhuis sign anywhere. It's also the return of football season, and the day for the Toronto Blue Jays to wear silly looking hats.
But it's Canada Day, which allows us to reflect upon how great this country is, particularly since it was on this day a mere 143 years ago that the British gave our elected government permission to ask the British permission to change our constitution! It doesn't get more Canadian than that. Canada Day allows us to celebrate that we don't have a national holiday marking the end of the second World War, or the invention of the nanaimo bar, but we have one celebrating a point in history where we just asked nicely.
So we have to celebrate. Celebrate the non-import rule in the CFL. Celebrate our favourite Canadian Major League Baseball stars (Victoria's Michael Saunders with TWO home runs against the Yankees last night! Take that, Battle of the Thames re-enacters!) Most importantly, celebrate players signing with Toronto who sound like STDs.
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Due to the total incompetence and dickheadedness of our Internet overlords at godaddy.com, we have lost our domain name and are back to being hosted by Blogspot.
And Happy Dominion Day. CFL recaps later, including whining about Glen Suitor.
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