Canadian women win Gold Cup! Stamkos to Maple Leafs!

Sometime last night after Conan came on and before his act got too stale to put you asleep, you may have done some channel surfing and stumbled across a tape-delay of the CONCACAF Women's Gold Cup Final match between Canada and Mexico.

Sometime between the time after you stopped channel surfing long enough to watch women's soccer and before Craig Ferguson came on, you may have seen Christine Sinclair's second-half penalty that gave Canada a 1-0 win.

Canada's newest international foe: Panama

This isn't anything to go to war over, but if Stephen Harper came out today and imposed economic sanctions on Panama, I would not be opposed.

First, Luis Bazan struck out nine as the Panamanian Little League squad beat our own Little Mountain squad 4-2. Look how big the guy is. The only thing missing is a column from Damien Cox questioning whether Bazan is truly under the age limit.

Then later, Panama squad Arabe Unido beat Toronto FC 1-0 in a CONCACAF Champions League match, which exposed CONCACAF for being cheap, corrupt, bastards, with the reds giving up 21 fouls, and two red cards to boot, to Unido's eight.

Yes, the real story, as often is in soccer in matches featuring teams from more than one country, was the referee, in this case, Marlon Mejia.

"It's cheeky to suggest that referee Mejia was the man to watch in this contest, but he truly did steal the show," wrote Asif Hossain of TorontoFC.ca. "The multiple stoppages in Arabe's favour restricted TFC as much as the players' reliance on directionless long balls."

Le sigh. Unido, model citizens; TFC, no discipline.